....and we're back!  So, after a two-week hiatus, I think that I can back on track with study. For a while, I had thought about putting it aside and wait until I was more mentally prepared, but Mary gave me a good idea: to set aside at least 10-15 minutes each day, using a timer, even, in order to do just a little bit of study.  Some of the days exercises are somewhat intimidating, and that has kept me from performing them, but Mary's advice will hopefully make it less daunting.  I will definitely give that a try and see if I can get back into the mindset of study.

It's difficult to believe, but not all-too surprising, that I haven't seriously updated in over a week.  I tried to update on Sunday, but nothing really came of that.  There's been quite a bit of emotional upheaval the past week or so in my personal and professional spheres, most recently being struck by a car while riding my bicycle this past Monday; my thanks to the powers that be, since all that was injured was my ankle.  I'm taking this as a sign to slow down and to not forgot about my own health and wellness aside in favor of another's, which can be so easy to do when you're making a career out of helping people.

As a result of being so drained, I haven't felt the inclination to continue with study, but I can feel starting to creep back; tonight I'll try to do the magical pass for the maiden, pretty much where I left off in the book.  Next week, we'll skip ahead and learn about Lammas, which is August 1.

Week 3

Starting this week, we're learning about the god and goddess, the divine energy split into male and female forms.  I feel that I express more of the feminine energy, but I do sense some masculine energy and would like to be more comfortable in expressing it.  The next couple weeks will concern the three aspects of the goddess: the maiden, the mother, and the crone.  I don't really have that much to say tonight, but I will say that I look forward to exploring these aspects.

Conclusion to Week 2...

....so I have not yet tried the moonwalking or sunwalking, or Roderick's guided meditation. I think that I will try the moonwalking tonight, the first night I have had to myself in almost a week. And honestly, his guided meditation sounded silly when I read through the text, so I decided that I would not do it. In place of it, I have downloaded some guided meditations from iTunes and will listen to them this week. 

With that out of the way, the entry for Day 14 asked us to consider our learned perceptions of God. Roderick gave the following questions to think about:

• What images of god did you hold as a child?
• How have these childhood images influenced your understanding of the divine today?
• Are the images of god that you know actually representative of god's fundamental nature?
• Are images of god important? Why?
• What is the purpose of believing in deity?
• Do we cheat ourselves at any level by characterizing god through image? Why?
• Does it bother you to see the word 'god' not capitalized in this book? Why?
• Does the word 'god' need capitalization?
• What automatic, conditioned responses do you have in relation to words, letters, and grammatical formalities?

Being raised Catholic, God was never personified; he was always this nebulous, invisible presence, and Jesus was his physical representative on Earth.  The images of God that I can remember are those from popular media and Michaelangelo's Sistine Chapel, in the panel "The Creation", all of which portray him as an old white man with a long beard.  They never really had any kind of influence on how I perceive the divine, having been exposed to many different world religions.  In a way, I still perceive divinity as a creative force, invisible yet perceptible.

Images of gods are important in that they help strengthen a person's beliefs.  It can be difficult to believe in a deity if you cannot see it, so you create an image physically or in your mind so that you become closer to it.  Most humans have an inherent need to believe in something greater than themselves, to understand how and why they were created.  We aren't cheating ourselves by creating images, because we often characterize gods in our own image, whether Caucasian, African, or Asian.  By showing that the gods look like us, it is saying that we carry a bit of the divine in us.

It only bothers me that 'god' is not capitalized when someone is talking about it in the Biblical sense because that is what I have always been taught.  I'm somewhat of a stickler for grammar, but I realize there is a limit to what I will correct and that I'm always willing to learn.

In Roderick's "Word to the Wise" for Day 14, he says this, which I found to be a little upsetting: 

In Wicca, the divine is not a person, nor is the divine something that is "greater than" each of us.  Wiccans view the divine as an energy that manifests through us at all times.  It is who and what we are.  In addition to that, it is a good practice to begin deconstructing and closely observing cultural customs that incite emotional or mechanical reactions.

It may simply my own attitudes and preconceived notions, but I feel that Roderick comes off somewhat aloof or detached when he talks about Wicca.  For me, the divine, the energy of the universe, is greater than us, but not so great that we can't understand it.  I take it very personally when someone tries to tell me what to believe; it's all a part of my needing to be in control.  I do not discount, however, the idea that my perceptions will change by the end of this year of study; in fact, I count on it.